Lorri (lorrainek) wrote in quatsch,
Lorri
lorrainek
quatsch

Dogs & Cats Diary's

EXCERPTS FROM A DOGS DIARY

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the
top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite
chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little Cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
Reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of
thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear
the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they
call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkeys and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain
he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
time...
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